Only in Larryland-------------------------------- Land of the Free Home of the Brave

In Medical News

2009-02-05T16:43:00.000-08:00

In what is believed to be a first-ever procedure, surgeons at John Hopkins have successively removed a healthy donor kidney through a small incision in the back of the donor's vagina. The transvaginal (that's a word I thought I'd never hear) donor kidney removal and transplant was successful and both patients are doing fine. I can't help but remember Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. "Hey, Rocky watch me pull a kidney out this vagina. Nothing up my sleeve---------Presto---------------------oops wrong vagina"!

What that name be's?

2009-02-04T05:21:00.000-08:00

Holy Name Cathedral on Chicago's near north side burned for the second time on Wednesday. The first Holy (name) Cathedral burn to the ground in the great Chicago fire in 1871. What kind of name is Holy (fill in the blank) Cathedral anyway? I think now would be a great time to give it a real name. Maybe the Archdiocese should run a contest to rename this catholic landmark as they pass the collection basket to repair it. I'm thinking:
Holy Moly Cathedral
Holy Smoke Cathedral
Holy Shit Cathedral

Post your ideas for a new name below.

Smoke This!

2009-02-01T12:27:00.000-08:00

Hail to you smokers, we want your money but we don't want any of your smoke in public places. A new bill was passed by Congress to expand SCHIP (States Children Health Insurance Program) adding 2.5 million children including illegal alien children in families of 5 or more earning up to $88,000 a year or $63,000 for a family of 4. Since when are these poverty level incomes? In addition another 2 million children already covered by private insurance are now eligible. Social Medicine has started with the Democrats in control only a few weeks now. The program giving free health care to 11 million children will be funded in part by an increase of the federal tobacco tax from 39 cents per pack to $1.00 per pack a 156% tax increase with the remainder coming from our tax dollars. Hey America "If they aren't a product of our smokin' why are we paying when they are broken?" "Kids not from our fornication so why are we paying for their medication?"

I'm a feard!

2009-01-30T11:43:00.000-08:00

I'm concerned for the safety of our beloved Ground Hog, Punxsutawney Phil. If Phil predicts six more weeks of winter and once again proves the global warming crowd wrong his life may be in jeopardy. Al Gore and his global warming eco-terrorist mob may take out a contract on good old Phil to keep him quite about the truth of global warming, that it doesn't exist. Do you think they make a fur coated flack jacket? Stay safe Phil my ground hog friend.

FYI

2009-01-25T08:04:00.000-08:00

On this date January 25, 1971 Charley Manson was sentenced to death for conspiracy in the Tate/LaBianca murders. Manson's sentence was automatically changed to life in prison when the Supreme Court of California temporarily eliminated the death penalty in 1972. Charles Manson is 74 years old!

Viagra for the economy

2009-01-24T18:52:00.000-08:00

The massive $825 billion stimulus package proposed by the Dems. or the "other white meat" as I call it, PORK has begun. Yes, the redistribution of wealth wrapped up as stimulus is in the Congress. It certainly is hard to find the details of the proposal as Congress works best by keeping us in the dark (the citizen mushroom we all are). Here is what I have found out and please remember this bill is supposed to put Americans back to work. Creating jobs, as Joe Biden said "a three letter word j o b s".

$87 Billion for states to pay for Medicare. Any jobs created here? PORK!
$79 Billion for states fiscal relief. Any jobs created here? States who couldn't manage our money so we'll give them more. PORK!
$31 Billion for public infrastructure. Resodding the Mall, yes its in the proposal and bridges to nowhere. PORK!
$30 Billion for the unemployed to pay for health care. No jobs created here. PORK!
$30 Billion for highways. Where did the billions in Federal excise tax we pay on every gallon of gas go? Pork for highway construction companies.
$27 Billion for unemployment benefits. No jobs created here. PORK!
$20 Billion for health-information technology. What the hell is this? PORK!
$20 Billion for food stamps and nutrition assistance. Welfare, no jobs here. PORK!
$19 Billion for water projects. Know anyone in the water projects field? PORK!
$16 Billion for public housing. Welfare no jobs here. PORK!
$15 Billion for Pell grants for low income college students. No jobs here. PORK!
$14 Billion for school modernization. Where did my property tax go? PORK!
$13 Billion for special education. No jobs here, welfare. PORK!
$13 Billion for disadvantaged students in K-12. Welfare. Pure PORK!
$11 Billion for the electric grid. I don't pay ComEd enough? I thought electric companies all made a profit. PORK!
$10 Billion for scientific research. What? PORK!

Sweetened by a refundable tax credit of $500 per worker. Wow, a whole $500. So much for creating jobs Joe the plumber and more like the redistribution of my present and future tax dollars. Hurry up Washington push it through and stiffen the economy before the stimulus (Viagra) wears off!
This Bill has more pork in it then an Iowa pig farm!

Hey, Washington how about a $825 Billion income, corporate and capital gain tax cut? Let us decide where our money is spent!

Did you know the entire Vietnam war cost an estimated $686 billion in 2008 dollars and took 10 years to spend?

Garbage in garbage out!

2009-01-22T20:38:00.001-08:00

The tree hugging attendees of the Obama inauguration left behind a record breaking 100 tons of garbage on the Mall and near the White House. I guess green is good when green is easy.

Count my vote not my jet!

2009-01-22T19:25:00.000-08:00

Yes, it may come as a surprise that in a time of financial crisis and green correctness that 600 private jets touch down in Washington D.C. for the Obama inauguration. The celebrities, politicians, and bigwigs using 600 privates jets produced 25,320,000 pounds of CO2 flying in and flying out for the inauguration. Doubling the record of 300 private jets attending the so called "oil loving" George W. Bush inauguration four years ago. The hundreds of vehicles that were used to get people to and from the inauguration and the many parties and balls produced 262,483,200 pounds of CO2. It would take the average U.S. household 58,000 years to produce a carbon footprint equal to the Obama housewarming party. According to recent polls 59% of Democrats think man is responsible for so called "climate change". Where are the "global warming", "man is the cause for climate change" eco-terrorist liberals today? You know what they say about having a big carbon footprint don't you?

That is an honor?

2009-01-09T06:58:00.000-08:00

The Federal prisons have renamed their best block of cells the "Illinois Governor Suites".

Warm This!

2009-01-09T06:17:00.001-08:00

The tree huggers, Eco-terrorist, and global warming freaks have changed their slogan.
"Global warming" is out and "climate change" is in. Soon the term global warming will go the way of groovy and super. With the winter being so cold and snowy and the summers back to summer normals the Eco-terrorist are having trouble selling global warming. Climate change is much easier to sell as the climate does change four times every year, they are called the seasons. Planet earth's climate has changed many times over the millions of years it has circled the sun. Sun spots, solar flares, nor jet streams are effected by man. Mother nature is doing what she has done since the beginning of time and to think man can change her is just silly. Henny Penny the sky isn't falling and man isn't causing the planet to warm.

Out with the old, in with the new

2008-10-16T15:32:00.000-07:00

As the election grows closer we hear more and more about the middle class. I'm not sure what qualifies one as "middle class" but the candidates sure want there votes.
How many middle class people have you see around a Congressman or Senator except at election time? How many middle class people (electricians, plumbers, or salesman)have you seen in the political circles, dinners or parties in Washington? Lobbyist out number Joe sixpack a thousand to one within the Beltway. Our President and Congress could care less about the middle class they only care about the tax dollars we contribute and the votes we cast. Please vote out every incubate up for reelection.

Show them the elite(they think so)can be beat!

It's a Love Fest

2008-10-16T06:15:00.000-07:00

The search is on in Chicago by the Obama campaign and the media for a hotel in which to spend election night. With the love that the networks have for him it will be a love fest with him and the media finally getting a room. I hope they use protection. I don't want to see a STD (spend, tax, and deny) spread.

Election day will be a liberal Erection day!

Chicago 2016

2008-10-07T16:00:00.000-07:00

If Chicago wants to be the host city for the 2016 Olympics, opportunity is knocking. A quick visit by the Olympic selection committee to Chicago would find a clean and freshly swept Wrigleyville on the north side (home of the Cubs)and a nearly swept south side (home of the Sox).

Detroit is in trouble

2008-10-05T10:09:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that the Buick as the preferred "ride" of the senior citizen is in jeopardy. In the past, a drive past a senior activity center, hospital, or medical building was like visiting a Buick dealership. As a new group becomes seniors, I'm seeing a growing number on Toyota Camrys. A passing of the World War II senior to a new group who didn't fight and hate the Japaneses.
Add the Camry to the Buick "avoid if possible list". Here are some tips:
First, avoid hospitals, medical complexes and drug stores during day light hours.
Second, check for handicap plates, a certain give away to bad driving.
Third, check to see if a head is visible above the driver's seat and a quick check for the glaucoma sunglasses is also in order.
Fourth, avoid restaurants during senior special hours (usually before dark).
Fifth, be on alert to the never ending turn signal and the 18 wheeler turn.

Happy at or above speed limit driving to you!

Give me a President

2008-10-05T09:19:00.000-07:00

Give me a President who loves his country as much as I do.

Give me a First Lady who has always been proud to be an American.

Give me a President who is proud to be a citizen of my country not concerned in being a citizen of the world.

Give me a President who is proud of his past, not someone who disallows his past friends, associates and pastors.

Give me a President who is proud (not forced) to wear a American flag pin on his lapel.

Give me a President who puts my country first.

Give me a President who believes in America and doesn't want to change our free market society.

Give me a President who doesn't want to redistribute income (the foundation of Marxism) and tell me how much of my money I can keep.

Give me a President who has worked his entire life.

Give me a President who wants less Government not all Government all the time.

Give me a President who expands my freedoms not restrict them.

Give me a President who puts citizens rights and services above illegal aliens.

Give me a President who respects the military not disdains the military.

Got Gas? Drill, Drill, Drill!

2008-08-20T19:11:00.000-07:00

251 million gasoline powered motor vehicles in the United States today. Statistics show that in ten years 40% of them will still be in service. So in 2018 100 million of todays fuel guzzling cars will still on the highways. Most of these vehicles will be owned by lower middle class and below citizens. The same citizens who can lease afford the high gasoline prices much less buy a new fuel alternative vehicle. Wake up politicians, drill now, drill tomorrow, drill where the oil is and drive the price down. I do believe that alternative fuel vehicles are needed but who the hell can afford to buy one? Everyone in America can't go out and buy a new car. I for one can barely afford to fuel up my car much less buy a new alternative fuel vehicle.

Hug an oil derrick not a tree!

I was just wondering

2008-08-19T18:34:00.000-07:00

Were Bernie Mack and Freddie Mac related? They have both been the news lately.

Russia invades Georgia. Didn't General William Tecumseh Sherman already do that in 1864?

If you crash your car, can you be charged with vehicular homicide?

If my last name was Peterson, I'd keep a eye on my spouse (Scott, Drew, Laci. and Stacey).

Does anyone remember global cooling in the 1970's? www.denisdutton.com/cooling_world.htm

Was Mr. Potato head related to the recently deceased Tim Russet?

Does Ted Kennedy drive better with a brain tumor?

Does Hillary Clinton own a pair of shorts?

John Edwards must be a breast man.

Trouble Getting up for the Election?

2008-08-16T17:49:00.000-07:00

Given the chooses we have in this Presidential election voting may not be for everyone. Don't vote if you take nitrates, often prescribed for chest pain, as it may cause a sudden, unsafe drop in blood pressure. Discuss your general health status with your doctor to ensure that you are healthy enough to engage in voting activity. If you experience chest pain, nausea, or any other discomfort during voting, seek immediate medical help. The most common side effects of voting are headache, facial flushing and upset stomach. Less commonly, blurred vision, or sensitivity to light may occur briefly. In the rare event of an election lasting more than 4 years, seek immediate medical help to avoid long-term injury. I suggest you see a psychiatrist as they are also known as shrinks.

Our Leaders?

2008-08-07T14:30:00.000-07:00

Our politicians are so out of touch with middle America its pathetic. Do you think any of our governmental leaders realize how hard it is to pay the higher fuel prices? Fuel they need to get to work, to support their family, pay their rent/mortgage and of course pay their taxes. As you may have heard Democrat nominee Obama has, called for proper inflation of your tires and a tune up as one solution to high gasoline prices. Show of hands, how many of you think Barack has any idea what a tune up is and how much it costs or how to inflate a tire? I wonder if he even drives a car. The average cost of a tune up is $225.00 to $500.00. I calculated a saving of 20% better fuel economy(which is on the high side)and it would take me one to two years just to break even. In one to two years, it would be time for my next tune up. Brilliant Barack! You saved us what?
I wonder what his health care plan will be, an apple a day keeps the doctor away?

Tax,Tax them cigarettes

2008-07-30T19:27:00.000-07:00

Tax, tax that cash cow to death. The Senate finance committee passed a huge tax increase on tobacco today. Currently the Feds. collect 39 cents per pack. The proposed increase will make their share one dollar per pack. Although not law yet, Congressional leader are confident it will pass. Nobody is blocking this vote.

I call upon the cigarette industry to fight back and increase a pack of cigarettes from the current 20 cigarettes to 200 cigarettes per pack. I'd gladly pay 61 cents more in federal taxes for the new 200 super pack. Put that in your pipe and smoke it Congress!

I also call for a Federal tax on beans. They nutritional value is questionable and if you eat to many (a can or two a day) they will adversely effect your health. In addition the second hand smell is hell and in some cases can kill ya.

Speaker of the Planet

2008-07-30T17:10:00.000-07:00

Speaker of the House Nazi, sorry Nancy Pelosi was quoted this week as saying "I'm trying to save the planet". This quote was in response to her refusal to allow a domestic drilling bill from coming up for a vote on the House floor. Even with 80% of Americans in favor of more domestic oil and gas production she is blocking the bill from coming up for a vote. Am I alone in still thinking "we the people" elect representatives to represent us and the best interest of our country. Who the hell does she think she is, Queen Nancy the first? By blocking a vote she is telling us she knows whats good for all 300 million Americans even if 200 million of us want something else. Pass, Fail, or draw allow a vote! Thats what we do in a democracy, isn't it? Between Pelosi "saving the plant" and Obama being a "citizen of the world" what is happening to my country, America?

Look Out Leroy!

2008-07-28T18:33:00.000-07:00

From the south side of Chicago the baddest part of town comes Democrat nominee Barack Obama. Following in the footsteps of other great Americans and south side leaders such as Jessie Jackson, Louis Farrakhan, Rev. Jeremiah Wright and the most famous of all Bad, Bad Leroy Brown comes Barack Obama. Senator Obama is the favorite of the media, their fair haired black man while McCain is their red headed stepchild . After his second visit to Iraq also billed as his second coming the media swooned and portrayed Barack as America's savior. That's no halo, it's his crown as the most liberal Senator in Congress. He is to the left of Ted Kennedy and Hilary Clinton quite a feat.

After being informed that no media was allowed to accompany him (no photo op) Obama canceled a visit to Ramstein Air Force base where he was to meet with wounded soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan. Instead he went the hotel gym for a work out.

Lets hope that after the election Barack is pulled from the floor looking like a jigsaw puzzle with a couple of pieces gone.

Wake Up America!

2008-07-28T06:39:00.000-07:00

Recent polls show that 83% of Americans favor offshore drilling and drilling in Alaska and elsewhere to help relieve the high cost of gasoline. Yes, we know it's a short term fix but it's a fix and may lower gasoline prices. Like the Rabbi once said "couldn't hoit" and it certainly wouldn't raise prices. Currently 73% of all the known oil and natural gas reserves in this country are off limits. Off limits by laws passed by our Congress. Our Congressional leaders and Democrat nominee Obama say no to any new offshore drilling and no to drilling in Alaska. Republican nominee McCain says yes to offshore drilling but no to drilling in Alaska. Congress wins, majority loses.

Recent polls also show 86% of Americans want our southern border secured and a solution to the growing and growing illegal immigration problem without granting amnesty to everyone in this country illegally. Congress has tried several times to pass immigration amnesty bills which have failed. Congressional leaders are on record that they will continue to try to pass an immigration amnesty bill in the future. Congress wins, majority loses.

Recent polls also show the approval rating of Congress at a record low ranging from 10 to 15%. Yet 95% of them will be reelected! America wake up. Lets vote every incumbent out of office and vote in citizens who represent us, the majority. Make your out vote count!

Not so Poor Gore

2008-07-27T17:34:00.000-07:00

Not so Poor Gore

Our favorite former Vice president and inventor of the internet big Al Gore (super thanks for asking) spoke at Daughters of the American Revolution Hall in Washington D.C. earlier this month. Big Al says American can be free of fossil fuel to generate electricity in ten years. Mister Global warming didn't mention that he, his wife and daughter flew to the conference in a private Lear jet and traveled from the airport to the conference in two Lincoln Town cars and a SUV. Oh my Al, is that your carbon footprint growing or are you just happy to preach to us? Mr. fossil fuel left his wifes Town car running for twenty minutes with the air on before she departed. Apparently Tipper is suffering her own personal global warming, I think they call it menopause.